Ascot United 1st X1 Veterans v Bank of England AFC Veterans

Report

26 January 2024

Ascot United 9-1 Bank of England

 

Ascot United produced an evening of free-flowing football as they brushed aside Bank of England at the Racecourse on 26 January. The Bank have not always been easy opponents for the Yellas, but with Ian Davies and Adam Moroney running riot up front it soon became clear that the only real question outstanding was how many goals Ascot were doing to end up scoring.

 

In the Spring of 2023 the Yellas travelled to the Bank of England and lost. On the day Ascot probably felt they were (just) the better side, but they didn’t take their chances and the Bank ultimately deserved to win.

 

This season the Bank have continued to surprise a few people. Going into the weekend’s games they sat fourth, just a couple of points behind Jon Keough’s troops. No one in the Ascot United camp was going to be taking them lightly.

 

That became apparent in the way that the Yellas raced out of the blocks. Mike Tomlinson and Tim Standing immediately got a grip in the middle of the park, whilst Ian Davies and Adam Moroney had paced and strength in abundance. Plus, the last time Stuarts caused this much carnage on royal land the country ended up descending into Civil War and King Charles had his head chopped of. Thankfully, the riotous behaviour of Stuarts Tanfield and Birkett on the flanks didn’t end with the current resident of Windsor castle minus his noggin. Which is good.

 

Be that as it may, the Bank keeper was forced into an impressive double save in just the second minute of the game and it was something of a surprise to the watching masses (all seven of us) that it took until the 15th minute for the first goal to come. Tomlinson switched play nicely, Mikey Lewis surged forward and the ball was smartly despatched into the back of the net.

 

The visitors did then enjoy a bit of possession, although a free kick neatly fizzed across the box was about as close as they came to scoring. Come 25 minutes Ascot were nonetheless back at the other end and indeed doubling their lead. Mikey Lewis was fouled just inside his own half, but referee Phil Rees played a good advantage. Neil Corbett pinged the ball into Davies, he turned and shot, only to see the ball take a very handy deflection and wrong-foot the ‘keeper.

 

By this point the Cheshire Cafu, Jamie Burgess, was also hurtling down the right, Corbett was doing much the same down the left and the Bank were being pushed ever further back. Still, the impressive Tim Standing was the catalyst for the third goal, freeing up Davies who then sent Moroney though. A Cantona-esque chip of the ‘keeper was pulled out of the locker. 3-0.

 

Dave Lyons set Davies clear for a fourth (and his second of the evening), before Tomlinson repeated the trick and Davies bagged the hat-trick. And the match ball, maybe? No chance, Doug Page is never allowing any of that sort of nonsense…..

 

As the game moved into the second half, gaffer Keough began to ring the changes; Paul Woodford and Garyth Brant came on in the middle of the park, Ed Du Dois slotted into the back line and Ben Standing joined the fray up front.

 

That all did little to stop Ascot playing some wonderfully free-flowing stuff, but it was ultimately the Bank that were next on the scoresheet. Rees decided that one of their players had been fouled in the box, so he pointed to the spot. Dave Lyons rose to the challenge admirably, saving nicely to his right…..but a re-take was on the cards. He’d apparently moved off his line. Would the kicker go the same way? No, and there was little Lyons could do to keep it out.

 

If anyone thought that this might be the start of a famous comeback, well, erm, it wasn’t. More or less immediately Ascot went down the other end and scored the best goal of the game. Birkett was involved, Davies made the space, Moroney sold an outrageous dummy and Stuart Tanfield re-incarnated as a modern day Julian Dicks and thundered the ball home.

 

The chances kept coming and Ascot began to find ever more frustrating ways of missing them. But, the constant pressure eventually brought its rewards, Birkett again causing mayhem down the right before Ben Standing ultimately slotted neatly home. With Ian Davies then rounding the scoring off as the 90th minute drew nigh, it was very much a case of job well and truly done.

 

The Bank were well beaten, but every respect to them for keeping at it. Some days it’s just not meant to be. Ascot, meanwhile, now have a weekend off before they travel to Croxley on Saturday 10 February. All good.

 

Team. Dave Lyons, Jamie Burgess, Chris Ferdinand, Neil Corbett, Mike Tomlinson, Tim Standing, Mikey Lewis, Stuart Birkett, Stuart Tanfield, Adam Moroney (c), Ian Davies.

Subs. Garyth Brant, Ed Du Bois, Paul Woodford, Ben Standing.

Goalscorers. Ian Davies (4), Adam Moroney (2), Mikey Lewis, Ben Standing, Stuart Tanfield